Etcetera

Today is full of random thoughts to share...

We had a BEAUTIFUL three inch snow fall yesterday which has almost completely melted.  I love snow and I was worried that this would be a snow-less winter so I am very grateful for that which we did receive.

Jeff and I had a very proud moment yesterday morning when we were heading into church.  Monsignor Carr complemented Tip on how how nicely he was dressed for Mass and said that Tip was really setting a great example!  And in other Tip news...he is now officially 5'9" tall.

I am still working on planning and lists.  I now have 16 meals in the freezer and only four more to prepare. I plan to cook two meals tomorrow, take off Ash Wednesday, and prepare the final two on Thursday.  Then I will be DONE with meal prep!!

Yesterday we drove down to southside to purchase an extra large L.L. Bean rolling duffel bag from a Craigslist seller.  I am very grateful to Kerry for agreeing to sell it to me for $15 - even though it is pretty dirty, dark pink, and embroidered.  I think it is perfect for Africa and I am sure I can stuff it full of diapers and formula.  I have one checked bag down and three more to go!

You might be asking yourself, "four checked bags?"   Yes, four checked bags!!  Thankfully, my Dad is planning on accompanying me to Congo for at least the first week or two of the trip.  I am very grateful for the help of my very large, very assertive, very cool-headed, Seminarian, former-Airborne Ranger father.  We aren't sure how long Dad will be able to stay because he is in Seminary school and needs to not neglect his studies.  But I know that he will at least get me and the kids settled into our temporary residence and through our initial week of appointments with doctors and the Embassy.

-B

Long, Long, Long

In one big way this week has been incredibly productive.  I now have 14 frozen meals in my freezer.  I have six more to prepare and freeze and then I am finished.  I am planning to have home cooked meals ready for Jeff and the kids every Monday through Thursday for six weeks.  I only have to cook and freeze dinners for five of those weeks because my WONDERFUL mother-in-law (and I'm not kidding - I LOVE my mother-in-law) is coming to hold down the fort for one of the weeks I am gone.

It is good that I can do things to make actual arrangements for while I am gone.  And it is good that I have a travel timeline that is fairly realistic.  But I am still full of longing to make everything move FASTER. After a number of conversations with my agency it is really looking like an early May travel date for me.  It is very reasonable to expect that I will be getting on a plane around May 5 and returning home around June 14. But IF our Congolese attorneys and the Congolese government produce our documents faster than the estimated 3-4 weeks then I could go sooner.  And IF the US Embassy in Kinshasa is able to schedule our visa appointments faster than the estimated 4 weeks then I could go sooner.  My daily life consists of a never ending  prayer that is always going on in my heart for those two things to go MORE quickly.  And then there is the fear that something could make them go more slowly.

I heard once that when you pray you should be able to hand over to God that weight that is in your heart.  I am failing at that BIG time.  We had a terribly sad loss in our family just over a year ago and that is also a weight that I have not been able to hand over.  Wherever I go and whatever I am doing I am always praying for our family's sweet little K in heaven, for comfort for her Mom, Dad, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and for us because we all love her and miss her so.  And wherever I go and whatever I am doing I am always praying that we can bring our new son and daughter home as quickly as we possibly can.  I just haven't been able to hand those prayers over to God the way I should.  

So if you have prayers to offer up for us, please pray that our attorneys and the Congolese government produce the needed documentation quickly and accurately.  Please pray that the US Embassy will schedule our appointments as quickly as possible once they receive the notification that our documents are ready. Please pray for our little children to grow strong and stay healthy and to be comforted during the huge transition that they will be facing.  And please pray for me to be able to let go of this weight and hand it over to Him.  

-B 

Take Good Care Of My Baby

A few weeks ago our agency coordinated a shipment from all of the waiting parents to their kids in Congo. We were allowed one filled gallon sized Ziploc bag per child.  We were pretty excited about this and put a lot of thought into what we wanted to send.

For Mumbi we sent two dresses, a pair of shoes, a headband with bow, a photo album, and a little giraffe lovey. For Kayakez we sent two outfits, a pair of socks, a teether, a photo album and a puppy dog lovey.  I am really hoping that at some point someone takes (and shares with us) a picture of the kids in their outfits so that I can figure out what sizes they are actually wearing.  I also wrote a thank you note (in English, French, and Swahili) to the nannies at their orphanage.

We packed these up and shipped them to our agency who then combined our bags with all the other families so that we could have only one consolidated shipment to Lubumbashi.  We are pretty sure that they have arrived and been delivered to the orphanage by now.

-B

Glad All Over

We got the call with our update!!!  Both kids have passed court and have had their judgments registered. Our 30 day wait started yesterday.  So that means (God willing) that on March 12, 2012 we will legally be the parents of little Mumbi & Kayakez!!!

I am so happy/relieved that we have reached this point and now it means that we have a more definite timeline for when I will travel and bring our children home.  I think the worst case scenario would be me traveling right around May 3rd or 4th and returning home around June 16th.  But I was encouraged to talk to our case worker yesterday and hear that it might be totally possible for me to travel around April 7th or 8th and be home by May 19th at the latest.  It all just depends on how long it takes for our attorney to turn around with the Acts of Adoption, the new birth certificates, and the passports, and then how long it takes to request and receive our Embassy appointments.

We are two steps closer but we have more to come!  Thank you for your support and prayers...and please keep them coming!

-B

No Reply

There is still no news on where we are in the court process.  I am really hoping and praying that we hear something today.  And I hope and pray that the news we hear is that we are one step closer to bringing home our little ones.

So what comes next? Here is the outline of what needs to happen between now and the time the kids arrive home:

1. Both Mumbi & Kayakez will have their adoption decrees approved by the judge. (we are waiting for news of this)
2. Both adoption decrees will be registered in their commune (also waiting for news of this) and our 30 day non-appeal waiting period will start.
3. Once the 30 day wait is over and we will receive "Acts of Adoption"s for both Mumbi and Kayakez. This will be a huge milestone because at this point we will legally be their parents according to the DRC.
4. New birth certificates will be issued listing us Mumbi & Kayakez's parents and Congolese passports will be issued. (4 weeks)
5. We will request an appointment with the US Embassy to file I-600 and Immigrant Visa applications for both Mumbi & Kayakez. (1 week)
6. We will receive our Embassy appointment date and then schedule travel.  We will also receive all of the necessary documents and compile our binders of documents for the US Embassy. (3-4 weeks)
7. I will get on a plane and fly to Kinshasa.  An escort will bring the children to Kinshasa and I will finally get to hold them and kiss them!  From this point on they will be with me.  During the first week in Kinshasa I will be correcting any paperwork errors, taking the kids to have medical exams, and going to the first Embassy appointment to drop off our binders of documents. (1 week)
8. At the beginning of my second week I will take the kids to the Embassy for our second appointment - the visa interview.  I hear I should expect a lot of waiting for a few quick questions.  Then we will return to our guest residence and wait...and wait...and wait.  (3 weeks)
9. We will receive word (hopefully) that the visa have been approved.  A few days later they should be available for us to pick up.  Then we will submit our exit permit applications to DGM which is the last step involving the Congolese goverment. (1 week)
10. God willing, Mumbi & Kayakez will be issued exit permits and we can fly home!!! ( 1 week)

So while I wait for an update I am doing a lot of logistical planning for living in a third world country for 5-6 weeks with an infant and a toddler.  Thank goodness my dad is planning on coming for the first week or two to help me bring all of my supplies and settle in with the kids at our temporary home and then get through that first week of appointments!  I am also trying to plan the logistics of Jeff being the primary caretaker of our two teens while still going to work everyday.  Thank goodness his parents are planning on coming for a week while I am gone to offer a helping hand!  And I haven't even really thought about what needs to be in place for arriving home with two new little ones.  Thank goodness Erin is on top of this!  She is already showing up at the door with clothes and supplies and calling on the phone with awesome ideas (which I hope she is writing down because I have adoption-brain)!  On top of this I am trying to learn some Swahili (Mumbi's language), some French (the official language of the DRC), and a tiny bit of Lingala (which is mostly used by the locals in Kinshasa).  And I'm trying to spend extra time with my husband, my big kids, and my friends while I can because I know that will be much more difficult once we bring home our two little ones. I've got a lot to do...so I should probably get off the computer and tackle one (or more) of these tasks!

-B

I Got To Find My Baby

I thought I should take some time to fill you in our adoption journey thus far.  One year ago Jeff and I officially decided to adopt a baby boy from the Democratic Republic of Congo.  We jumped right into it and within two months we had completed our home study and talked to countless adoption agencies.  The next few months brought us two referrals, two referral losses, and a change of agencies.  With our second agency we received our third referral (though it was only a "soft" referral) which also fell through.

While we were loosing our third referral we received a call from an agency with whom I had previously spoken.  They were seeking a paper-ready family (home study approved, I-171H approved, and able to turn around a dossier nearly instantly) for a six week old baby boy.  We hated to leave our second agency (which has the most amazing in country coordinator!!!) and we were anxious about being one of the first families with an agency that has yet to bring home a child from the DRC.  But we knew we were facing a long wait with our second agency...and this third agency has done some really fantastic work in Haiti including evacuating more than 50 children after the earthquake and completing those adoptions from the US.  And then there was this little baby boy.

Baby Kayakez lost his mother in childbirth and his father had passed away early in his mother's pregnancy. We knew that his grandmother could not care for him and had placed him in an orphanage shortly after his birth.  We also knew that he had older siblings and we thought that they were going to remain with the grandmother.  Little  Kayakez was definitely in need of a mommy and a daddy and we were THRILLED to say yes.

We scrambled to put together our dossier for Kayakez's adoption.  Within ten days of saying yes we executed a contract with the new agency, signed a referral acceptance, compiled every document needed for our dossier and had them all notarized and certified by the Secretaries of State, and took two documents up to D.C. to be certified by both the US Secretary of State and the Congolese Embassy.  Then the waiting began.

We spent the next few months waiting.  We would get occasional updates about our dossier being translated or arriving in the DRC.  We received a new picture which we were so excited to see.  We prayed for the people of Congo during the tumultuous Presidential election.  We prayed for Kayakez's health and safety. We prayed for the courts to not be closed too long during the election period and then during the holidays. And we prayed for a court date.  

Just after the new year began we were starting to get really antsy about our court date.  I think poor S must have received ten emails or phone calls from me within just a few days.  And then she called me with a very unexpected update - there was a little girl at the orphanage that might be Kayakez's sister.  S said that she was looking through this little girl's paperwork and the names of the parents and the dates of their deaths matched Kayakez's paperwork.  I asked S to email me what she had and I looked at it and there was no question in my mind that this was Kayakez's sister.  Two year old little Mumbi was Kayakez's sister and also needed a mommy and a daddy.  

We really had planned on adopting one baby boy.  That was our plan.  But our home study approval was for TWO children between the ages of 0-2.  And our I-171 H approval from USCIS was for TWO children (even though we didn't apply for approval for two).  It really just felt like this was God's plan for us.  Everything leading up to this point was to prepare our hearts for saying yes to adopting these TWO children.  So we said yes!

Our agency scrambled to help us get things together so that we could add Mumbi to Kayakez's adoption petition. Within two weeks of hearing that this little girl might be Kayakez's sister we had produced, notarized, state certified, State Department certified, Congolese Embassy certified, and translated the documents needed and had them in the hands of the attorney in Congo.  And then the waiting began again.

We were really hoping that we could just add Mumbi to Kayakez's court date...but towards the end of the scramble we learned that Kayakez had actually already passed court.  We were told that the judge was going to hold on to the adoption decree so that Mumbi could be added...and we assume that that has happened or is happening.  But we just don't know right now.  We are praying so hard that they both have passed court, have had their adoption decrees registered in their commune, and we are in our 30 day non-appeal waiting period.  

We will let you know as soon as we hear something.  Until then we appreciate your prayers for good news about moving one step closer to bringing our little ones home!

-B

Nowhere Man

I think the most frequently asked question I hear is, "Where are you in the process?"  Oh, how I wish I knew!  We may or may not have passed court.  We may or may not be in our 30 day waiting period (after which the kids are legally ours according to the DRC.)  Or we may still be waiting to go to court.  The answer is that we really don't know.  We did receive word back in January that our little Kayakez has passed court...but then we asked the judge to hold on to the judgement while we rushed dossier additions to him so that we could also adopt Mumbi.  We need to have their files go through together so that we are only using one dossier, making one trip, etc.

Right now we are waiting for the call or email with that all important update.  And I know our poor case worker is waiting for a call or email from the attorney in the DRC so that she can get that all important update to pass along to us.  And the attorney in the DRC may very well be arriving at court to get that all important update only to find (once again) that they are without power and basically non-functional.

So we are waiting...and praying!!

-B

A Beginning

Hello family and friends!  I have started this blog to keep you updated on our adoption process, keep in touch while I am in Africa for 5-6 weeks, and to share news of our kiddos' adjustment once the join us here at home.   We will be keeping this blog completely PRIVATE from the public until after our new little ones reach United States soil.  This means that if anyone would like to read this blog they need to:

1. Know us personally
2. Have a google account and be logged in
3. Have me submit them as an approved blog reader

Thank you for jumping through those hoops - and thank you for helping us keep our information private while we are still in-process.  A few people have asked why it is so important to keep this all private.  The main reason is that officials in sending countries have been known to search the internet for information about the adoptive parents so that they can either extort the parents for money or find grounds for denying the adoption. This is less likely in the DRC where access to the internet is limited, but we feel better taking this extra precaution.  The other reason is that I do plan to post information here about when and where I travel and it would be ill-advised to make that information accessible to people on the ground in the DRC (or even Addis Ababa) who might not have the best intentions.

Again, thank you for bearing with us.  Once our new little ones are here then I will make this blog public so that other families adopting from the DRC can read about our experience (especially my time in country) and use that information to plan for their own adoptions.  I know that I am incredibly grateful for all of the information that I have been able to gather from the blogs of DRC adoptive families who have already brought their children home - and I hope we can be equally as helpful to those who will go through this journey after us.

-B