Don't Ever Change

One year ago today I met my babies! What a wonderful day that was for me!!! What a scary day that was for Katie Mumbi. We talk about it often and Kate tells me about how she was scared to leave her orphanage that morning, then fly on a big scary airplane, then drive a long time in a car, and then meet this strange woman with light skin, and then be left with that strange woman. She says she very was nervous but then I gave her food and gave her a bath and she started to feel better. 

So much has changed over the past year. But in most ways Katie Mumbi and Nat are exactly the same. They are who they are because of their beginning with their parents and their time in their orphanage. That is just such an integral part of who they are today. I never forget that. But reading what I wrote one year ago today definitely reinforces that: 

post #1 "Little Child" 

post #2 "Love of the Loved"

KATE - ONE YEAR LATER

Katie Mumbi is either on or off. When she is on she is on and she goes full force. When she is scared, nervous, tired, or out of sorts she will withdraw into herself. Fortunately, she still wants me to hold her when she is going into her shell. And fortunately, she almost never shuts down completely like she used to do. I chuckled when I read in that first post that the first English word we had taught her was "gentle". Yep! That's still a very commonly used word. Kate can be rough. She is a fighter. Thank goodness!!!

It was also funny to read in that first post, "I think she understands a little Swahili." Um...yeah...by day 2 or 3 I figured out that Katie Mumbi was completely fluent in Swahili and a total chatterbox. Sadly, she has lost most of her Swahili - but her English is AMAZING!!! The vocabulary this kid has rivals her big sister's at that age. And when a word escapes her she is so clever in figuring out how to communicate. The other day she wanted to ask for something from the fridge but couldn't remember the word. So she sat cross legged in the kitchen and pointed to her legs and said she would like "this." I completely understood that she was referring to criss-cross applesauce and she was asking for applesauce. This child is absolutely brilliant! I can't wait to teach her chess!!! Kate is also picking up some German from me and continuing with French at her weekly French class (i.e. hanging out with the French teacher while I teach chess at the French school). We try to keep up some Swahili but our resources are limited.  She will be attending preschool in the Fall in a wonderful program that welcomes many children of African refugee families. Maybe she will have a classmate that speaks Swahili. But whether it be English, German, French, or Swahili this kid talks NON-STOP.  And she asks "why" 50+ times a day.

Katie Mumbi is still a great eater - when a food is her favorite. When it is a not-so-favorite food item she can really be stubborn. We are working on that. She still loves baby dolls and books and spends most of her at home time reading or playing with her babies. The latest fascination has been to play "baby Moses" complete with baskets, the river Nile, and the Prince of Egypt soundtrack.  Kate is still a tiny little thing (for her age) and people are so surprised when she tells them she is 3 years old. She is finally growing into a 2T (sometimes even a 3T) and she now wears a size 8 shoe. Over the past year she has added about 8 pounds and grown almost 5 inches. Her ringworm is gone and her scalp is healing. She still has some sparse patches on her head but her hair is starting to fill in.  

Did I mention how beautiful she is? Katie Mumbi has a striking face. We have a wonderful relationship with the family who adopted her older sister, Numbi, and these girls are both crazy beautiful! As much as I want my kids to develop their intelligence and use their gifts to serve God, this kid might be destined for the stage. She is constantly singing and dancing and "fake crying" - at home and out in public. I get some looks. We may just have to help her channel her performing in a way that uses her God given talents to do His work.

Most importantly, this girl can LOVE!!! She adores her Daddy. She wants to be exactly like her big sister. And even though she fights with her brothers she does adore them both. The sun rises and sets on her Auntie Erin. She still holds a candle for her Congo boyfriend, Joseph, and insists she will marry him. She will tell you how much she loves our priest, Monsignor Carr, and Miss Joan at Whole Foods. Both Millies, her friend and our dog, are dear to her heart. But most of all she is a Mama's girl. She still wants Mama to be the one to hold her or carry her. She needs Mama when she has an aua (owie or boo-boo).  She can nap without Mama but to sleep through the night she still wants Mama.  She loves me!!!  And I love her!!!

Katie Mumbi - May 3, 2012

Katie Mumbi - May 3, 2013

NAT - ONE YEAR LATER
Oh (with a sigh!)...Our precious buggy boy! How he worries us. Nat is a tiny little peanut with feeding problems and health problems. Recently, he caught a stomach bug and threw up for days, didn't eat for several more days, and had strep at the same time! That was on top of his usual stuff. I try to limit Nat's therapy/doctors appointments to only two per week. But he is bowlegged. He STILL has ringworm. I was reminded after reading that second post...he did have scabies but that nasty ringworm was also at play. The poor guy had staph and strep infections all over his skin. And he STILL doesn't eat properly! We are shooting for normal food consumption by the age of 3.  No, really...that's the official goal.

On that first day with the babies I had to shove a bottle in Nat's mouth and force it. He was SO malnourished and SO hungry - but he had never had a bottle before. He had been cup fed a thin baby porridge. He would gladly put all kinds of food in his mouth but he wouldn't swallow. Well...it turns out that nursing from a breast or a bottle goes a long way in developing the swallow reflex...and he didn't get to do that. So now we have our weekly visits with Miss JoAnne and Miss Shelby and he is making huge progress. Nat will now (sometimes) happily eat and swallow a Tablespoon or more of food at a meal. On a rare occasion he will eat almost 1/4 cup of food!  That's when we do the happy dance.  But, for the most part, Natty gets his nourishment in the form of Pediasure from a bottle.  At least now (if he's in the mood and I lay him back on a pillow) I can hand him a bottle and he will put in his mouth and hold it on his own. That is a victory!!! And that mom who raised her eyebrows at my (then) 18 month old eating from a bottle needs to mind her own business.

Natty boy had grown 4 inches and gained 9 pounds in the past year.  Now his head doesn't look so odd/concerning, thank goodness!  His feet haven't grown more than a half size but that's got to accelerate at some point, right? He went from a toothless 8 month old to a toothless 11 month old, but now he is an almost 20 month old little boy with 12 teeth. Nat is still a tiny little guy.  He fills out a 6-12 month size nicely.  The next size up is 12-18 months and he kind of swims in that (except for his big belly.) But considering he will be 20 months old in three days he really is a tiny little guy. After we do his "modified barium swallow study" (yes, that is a thing) I think I may take him to an endocrinologist just to make sure we aren't missing something.

Thankfully, Nat is a happy boy!  And he is doing AWESOME in his development.  He went from not being able to roll over at 9 months to being a promising rock climber at 19 months.  This kid can high step and mantle!  He has no fear of going up.  It's just the coming down that causes problems.  I am just grateful that he is appropriately cautious and not a daredevil who will just hang and drop.  Buggy has some impressive dance moves!  He will dance to almost anything (including ballet - complete with ballet shoes and tutu) but his favorite thing is to dance Gangnam Style!

Talking is...ummm...developing.  But we aren't too worried about that.  Verbal expression is linked to oral-motor development and those are things we are working on.  Nat was becoming quite the fussy-mussy so we started baby signs at 12 months and that has made a world of difference. Fortunately, his receptive language is awesome!  Nat understands, EVERYTHING we say.  And he is completely capable of responding through action, nodding, grunting, or some form of verbal expression.  A lot of his verbal expression sounds like "da" or "ba" but his unmistakable words include, "Mama", "Dada", "ball", "ba ba" (interchangeable for basketball or baseball), "wawa" (water), "ee" (please), "ou i" (outside), and "eh mah" (yes Mam).  He signs/grunts at least 20 more words.  

The most adorable thing he has been doing lately is singing and saying prayers.  We have certain songs we sing and we same the same prayers at dinner and bedtime. Nat totally knows the songs and prayers.  I will catch him "singing" and I can tell what he is singing by the tune. He has very nice pitch!  And I can tell which rhyme it is by his rhythm and hand motions. Lately I've had to keep myself from laughing during prayers. He has them memorized and as we pray he will say the last word or syllable from each line in the verse.  Jeff jokes that Nat is just rapping. I say that my baby is called to the priesthood!  I do need to bring the iPad in at bedtime to record our, "holy Mary, Mother of" - then we can be totally silent as Nat yells, "God!"

Nat's two great joys in life are being outside and playing ball. All wrongs in the world are made right if I just open up the kitchen doors and let him play outside on the deck. He loves to dig in dirt, play with bugs, carry sticks and leaves, etc. And if he sees a ball he MUST hold and/or bounce and or/throw that ball. Nat loves anything that involves a ball!  His 6'2" brother is trying to groom him to be a basketball player. Nat definitely adores basketball, but considering he is (just now finally) on the growth chart at a whopping 3%, I think we might be better off encouraging baseball. At least he will have a challenging strike zone. I recently took Natty to his first baseball game and he was such a happy boy! He will also tell you all about his "beh bah baa" (baseball bat).

Our Cuddle Bug is definitely still a sweet and loving baby boy! He gives me great kisses and wonderful hugs. But as soon as his Daddy walks through the door he pushes off from me and can't get to Daddy fast enough. He often cries when Daddy leaves without him. Nat wants to sit in Daddy's lap and have Daddy help him eat his smoothie or read a book. Yes, Daddy is the hero (and Daddy likes that job very much!)  

Nat - May 3, 2012

Nat - May 3, 2013

One year ago today I woke up, ate breakfast, visited with my Dad and my new friends, and then waited for strangers to arrive and place two children in my arms so that I could be their mother. So much has happened since then and it seems like that was such a long time ago.  These children have become my children so deeply that it is hard to remember our family before they arrived.  But with every memory of that day and the six weeks that followed being so incredibly vivid is also feels like it was just yesterday.  

-B

A Day In The Life

The most commonly asked question now that the kids are home is "How are you doing?"  I haven't figured out how to answer that question accurately without delving into a full ten minute discussion so I usually just answer, "Good! Crazy...but good!"

And that pretty much sums it up.  We do have some really bad days (like Sunday when Kate decided to be defiant all day long) and we do have a few really lovely, happy, peaceful days.  But most days are crazy and chaotic and exhausting but at day's end we are all still happy.  Like yesterday.

Yesterday was a snow day so all four of our kids were home.  I decided that I would take advantage of having the big kids home and get some cleaning done. So I was cleaning my closet and organizing my shoes when I hit the back of my arm on the wire shelving in my closet.  That totally would not have been a big deal if the end cap had been on the cut edge of the thick jaggedy wire.  It was not.  So Liz put some steri-strips and a bandage on it (because I can't see it much less reach it) and bundled Katie Mumbi up and drove me to the doctor.  The girls got to watch me get three stitches while the boys stayed home for Nat's nap.  

(*note, stitches are not a part of a typical day but some form of doctor's appointment or therapy is very typical)

After I was all stitched up we realized that it was time for a late lunch.  We battled the snow-day traffic (because the roads were totally fine and there really should have only been a two hour school delay) and got take-out from Chick-Fil-A.  We brought our food home, ignored the piles of laundry and the cleaning supplies strewn about, and ignored the fact that none of us had showered or brushed our teeth, and we ate lunch.  And Liz's boyfriend, Grayson, joined us.  

As lunch was finishing up Tip asked me if I could drive him to the UPS store.  I think my response was something along the lines of, "Are you kidding?  I'm in the middle of cleaning.  I haven't showered.  I promised Katie she could play in the snow that is currently melting.  And I just got stitches.  So, no, I will not drive you to the UPS store."  He got the message and instead bundled up his sister and sent her out to play in the snow. 

Eventually I finished my cleaning task and showered myself and the babies.  Liz helped me put my hair in a ponytail and changed my bandage.  And then it was time to start dinner.  Liz and Grayson drove Tip to the UPS store, picked up the grated Parmesan that I had forgotten, and dropped Tip off at the YMCA.  Katie Mumbi and Nat played while I started cooking.  Katie wanted to put water in her Baby Alive's bottle (yes the one that really pees) but I told her no since that requires full supervision and I was making bolognese sauce.

Liz and Grayson returned home, made queso with the Velveeta and Rotel that they had also purchased when I sent them to the store, and played with the kiddos for a little while before finishing their episode of "The Americans".  Grayson left and Liz went off to study for her physics, trig, econ, and govt tests. I texted Tip to see what his plan was for getting home and did not get a response. Jeff walked in the door without Tip.  I sent Liz out to the Y to bring him home so that he could be showered before dinner.  Jeff played with the little ones.

Then I heard Jeff say something about there being no more water in the baby bottle.  And Nat was walking around trying to suck out the last few drops of water from the Baby Alive bottle.  So I, of course, asked Jeff if he put water in Katie Mumbi's bay doll bottle.  Nope.  He didn't.  He thought I did.  Nope.  I had specifically told Katie that she may not have water in the bottle. So we questioned our younger daughter:

Me: Did you put water in the bottle? 

KM (choosing to take the honest approach): Yes

Me: Where did you get the water?  From the sink?  

KM: No, from that. (pointing to Nat's sippy cup - the one with the lid that screws on tightly and is almost impossible to pour from)

Me: How did you get the water out?  Did you unscrew the lid?

KM: No. I spit it.

Me: Do you mean you sucked the water out of his cup and then spit it into the baby bottle?

KM: Yes!!!

Jeff and I both tried to keep straight faces.  He was terribly impressed with her brilliant ingenuity and thought that should probably excuse her from any consequences.  I agreed that she is quite accomplished (she definitely developed a LOT of MacGyvering skills while living in an orphanage) and I appreciated her honesty - but I still told her that she could not play with her Baby Alive or bottle for several days.  I asked her to bring the baby doll to me.  And she did - followed by a stream of "pee".  Tip and Liz walked in the door.  Jeff was so proud to tell Liz and Tip about their inventive and clever sister.  Kate cleaned her baby doll's pee.  Tip showered.  We put dinner on the table.  

Five of us ate dinner while watching Nat occasionally lick a food item (which is progress for our little guy in feeding therapy).  Katie Mumbi was finishing up her bread when we started clearing the table.  We left her at the table with her bread and the plate with olive oil for her to dip her bread in.  I went back into the dining room to excuse Katie from the table and noticed that the plate of olive oil was almost empty.  Did she pour it out?  I checked the floor and her chair.  Nope.  All clean.  Then I noticed her hands and mouth were covered in olive oil.  Yes, she ate/drank it all.  Again, we tried to keep a straight face. 

We finished dishes and then I started to get the little ones ready for bed.  Right after I took off Nat's diaper to put on the pull-up he decided to let out a nice stream of pee.  I shrieked.  Katie laughed and announced the Nat "peed over Mommy".  Tip ran upstairs to get a new pull-up and new pajamas for Nat as well as clothes for me.  I cleaned Natty up and he walked around naked while waiting for his new diaper.  And then he peed again.  And laughed again.  

I finally got a clean diaper and clean clothes on Nat.  And I put a pull-up and pajamas on Katie Mumbi who told me, "I not pee over Mommy".  Nat got a bottle while Kate read a story.  And then we tucked them into bed.  Thank goodness they go to sleep easily!

Then I had a glass of wine and watched "How I Met Your Mother" with Tip while Jeff did some work stuff on his computer.   After HIMYM and a bet with Tip that in retrospect I think I am likely to lose, Tip headed up to his man-cave.  Liz studied up in her room and received a video "Prom-posal" from Grayson (yes, that is an actual thing).  And finally Jeff and I had a some kid-free time to catch each other up on our day.

Yes, yesterday was a pretty typical day.  I still can't figure out how to explain it concisely so I'm just going to stick with, "Crazy but good!"

-B

Got To Get You Into My Life

Blogging has been an epic fail since the little ones have come home.  I think I'm going to give it one more go and set the goal of blogging at least once a week.  I do have all sorts of things to share - but time seems to get away from me each and every day.

I did take the time to make a video for Katie about her adoption.  She LOVES the video and watches it every single day.  She also likes it when I watch it with her and cry.  Kind of like how she gets me to read "Mommy's Heart Went Pop" or "A Mother for Choco" just so she can watch me cry.  

-B